The New Standard

I wonder how we used to define it before, but lately, relationships seem to be defined by Facebook. Not on, by. I never used to care too much about FB. I used to scoff when Tyra did this show on FB etiquette. Geez. Just be normal guys. Just because it's online doesn't mean you have to be freaky. However, she did cover this one issue about breaking up via FB. What a cowardly thing to do, eh - just remove this significant other's name from your profile, and you're no longer an item.

But why does it even carry any weight, these simple clicks? Why do we pay heed to them? Why do we define our lives by it?

I suppose, it is because in this day and age, Facebooking is the new discourse type. And in any discourse, you have the locutionary act, the illocutionary act, and the perlocutionary act. Locutionary act is simply the thing that you say; illocutionary act is the intended meaning; and perlocutionary act is the effect. Yeah, this is all mostly about the spoken discourse, but you can extend it to cover Facebooking.

Let's say you have a close friend. She is your friend in real life, and also on FB. So your lives are going on as normal, and when you see her you guys hang out and chat and everything. Like normal. Let's say after that you log on to FB to find that you are banned from seeing her profile. You guys are still friends, but you cannot see her status updates, and you can't write on her Wall. Kinda makes you pause for a sec, doesn't it - did I do something wrong?

Let's analyse this for a second -
Locutionary act: Removing your accessibility.
Illocutionary act: "I don't want to share my life with you."
Perlocutionary act: Declaring that you are no longer that important in her life.

Of course, there are multiple possible readings for any one act. For example, the above action may not mean that at all. She may simply be saying, "You did something wrong. Now apologise," or maybe if you haven't been paying her enough attention, "Let's see how long it takes for you to realise something is amiss." Or you know what - and this, too, is a total possibility - maybe she is just a total klutz and didn't even know she'd restricted you.

I know this sounds silly, but there it is. Everything that we do has a meaning. They have echoes of a meaning. I think it's a sorry state of affairs when the virtual world overtakes personal interaction, but there you have it - this is where we are now.